Her name was Mrs. Dilbeck, and I made it my mission to make her smile. She never did. 

She sat on the second row of the early service, never sang, and covered her ears if I sang a solo.

I was 23, full of life. She seemed like she had none left.

Now, decades later, I understand how she got there.

Life Has a Way of Wearing You Down
If you lead anything long enough—a business, a church, a nonprofit—you will face:

• Betrayal by people you trusted.
• Financial strain because of others’ exploitation
• Lies told about you or to you.
• Relationships that end in pain, not peace.
• Seasons where it seems no good deed goes unpunished.

Each one of those hits leaves a mark. And over time, it’s easy to believe that cynicism is just being realistic. That bitterness is justified.

But here’s the truth I’ve come to realize:
Bitterness may be justified. But it’s still a choice.

Happiness Is a Choice—And So Is Bitterness
No one escapes life without scars. But the question is: what will you do with them?

You can let them make you harder, colder, and more closed-off. Or you can let them remind you how much more beautiful grace, kindness, and joy really are.

Bitterness is the natural path. It takes no effort. You don’t even see it happening until it’s rooted deep in your heart.

Happiness? Fulfillment? Joy? Those take intention. They take courage.

And most of all, they take faith—that no matter what has happened, life is still worth engaging with. People are still worth loving. You are still worth showing up for.
 
You Don’t Have to Be Mrs. Dilbeck

Maybe you’ve been through some things lately. Maybe life hasn’t turned out quite how you expected. Maybe you’ve caught yourself more frustrated, more distant, more bitter than you want to admit.
Let me remind you:

• You are not your circumstances.
• You are not your disappointments.
• You are not your past.

You are a leader, and leaders choose. Every day.

Choose joy. Choose grace. Choose to live a life that, despite the heartaches, is still open to hope.

One of the greatest lies bitterness tells is, “You deserve to feel this way.”
But no matter how justified, bitterness will always steal more than it gives.

Bitterness is easy but joy is worth it.